Holidays and how things change

Current mood: cranky

Im not in the best frame of mind this morning. Not sure if its because Brad is out of town and I havent seen him in 4 days (and I miss him really bad) or if its because my 11 year old son was crying this morning because we arent doing anything for Easter. The past few years it seems like everything has changed, and I hate it. This year has really been the worst. I thought that it was because I was working and just wasnt able to be invoved in anything. But Im not working now, and its the same. Thanksgiving was amazing. Everyone was together, we had dinner, played cards, watched football, ate some more. After that it got weird. I had the worst Christmas that I have ever had and that has nothing to do with gifts etc. I felt so stressed, blamed, annoyed, unwanted. You name it. I got criticized, yelled at, bad mouthed one too many times that day and all I wanted to do was go home. And now its Easter. Didnt go to church. No dinner at Moms. No kids for the kids to hunt eggs with. Have I mentioned that I hate it.

I totally understand that as people grow up and start their own families that new traditions are bound to start. But why does that mean that the traditions that we grew up with have to stop? I want my kids to grow up knowing their family, knowing the traditions that I knew PLUS have our own fun things that we do at home. Why should the things that are important to me be thrown out? I am totally at fault here. I dont take the initiative to call my mom, my sisters, my brothers to see if they are coming for hoidays. To see if they want to get together. And I need to, and Im going to start. I hate it that we are all so busy in our lives that we dont stop to talk to each other anymore. And again, I know everyone is busy. I get it. But think about the fact that at any moment one of us could be gone, forever. I cant sit back and let my family disinigrate. Yeah yeah I know it sounds dramatic, but thats how I see it. I see everyone going their own seperate ways. I see the great grand kids not knowing their great grandma. I see myself not having any idea what is going on in the lives of my siblings, nieces, nephews etc. Im going to make every effort to get people together, whether that be at Moms, my house, Janets, Dales, wherever. So, Im not sure how many of you even read this, but if you do, and you are a family member....get ready to hear a lot from me. It may not be phone calls or visits, but there will be emails, ecards and cards in the mail.